Some people live to keep their lives balanced, I have learned some times this is just not possible & we will forever go through times of being unbalanced
Right now in my life I sit between what I feel are worlds. One deals with my present and the other deals with my future. I have so much hope for what will be, and yet there are concerns as well.
Even as I plan hopefully within my mind how I wish for things to be, I know I have to accept that the balance will fluctuate.
At times I feel I will walk on egg shells to get where I am going or hold my breath. But I must trust that Goddess has a divine plan and trust that she will hold me within her hands. I know there will be testing and challenges but I am going to have to weather the storms that come my way .
So I light the candle within my lantern and I leave Goddess & God a token of my honor and reverence. May Spirit shine upon my path leading me where my soul is being pulled
)0(Bless Be)0(
~IndigoSky
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Food for thought upon my Spiritual Journey Planning
Some times in Love to lose your balance is a part of the Living
Is part of the beauty. to open your heart & cellular self to the
chance just to the chance is growth in & of it's self.
there are times where no one will truly understand. There are times when others will
judge your decisions on life based solely on things that they have undergone
(or on the contrary have never under gone at all).
What they had under gone well....It
It might not be relevant at all to what you are doing, but they will mirror it against
what you are undertaking. Others may be protective, untrusting of what you are
trying to do. They will want proof that you will be ok in your descission. They
want you to be clear, even when perhaps in life they themselves have not been
able to be clear ever....
Goddess have I analyzed my life... I have sunk to the depths of the heart of pain
I have become one & sat within the core of the pain, owning it, clinging to it
Not forgiving myself of things. I have stagnated myself within this .
To think of myself as the ice cube in the glass floating slowly melting really was
for me to realize that I had to trust the melting process of my own life.
I know that Spirit has always sent me guides...but, sometimes in life you forget to
really listen to those still places within. It is then the breath of wisdom that fills your lungs
so deeply that you physically can feel an inner ache . Such breath stretching your
lungs further then you ever thought they could possibly stretch. This is growth,
a mandatory calling from Spirit that "It is time"
While aknowledging my life , the hills, valleys and even the highest mountain peaks
I could see there was more life to live beyone the horizon. A calling magnitized
me to believe I could undetake a journey to rekindle my life.
So I took out firstly to find where I could grow, for a place that would feed my
thirst as well as nurture my soul.
What came forth was Colorado. For a woman who spent the majority of her
life in the Inland North West as well as many times near the ocean this was
indeed a calling for change, but when you get a higher calling you fallow it
down to the letter. First I set out to weed my life of many things that would
hinder the chances for a successful outcome to this journey. I began looking
within at myself, at thing that I had not forgiven myself for, things that had
left scars upon my heart and found such a rushing of healing. some of this I was
able to blog, but other parts I had to work through on the inner.
so here I sit pondering the last of the paving of this road. Still there are things
to do. a legal battle on the horizon which could spin us to Colorado with not
much time to say goodbyes. Sad fact is a Realtor does not want you living on
the property if you had to sue him no matter if he was in the wrong.
Thus we have had to create a plan A,B,& C.
So still there is waiting but...while I wait I shall clean & pack and I shall be
ready for when moving day comes
Is part of the beauty. to open your heart & cellular self to the
chance just to the chance is growth in & of it's self.
there are times where no one will truly understand. There are times when others will
judge your decisions on life based solely on things that they have undergone
(or on the contrary have never under gone at all).
What they had under gone well....It
It might not be relevant at all to what you are doing, but they will mirror it against
what you are undertaking. Others may be protective, untrusting of what you are
trying to do. They will want proof that you will be ok in your descission. They
want you to be clear, even when perhaps in life they themselves have not been
able to be clear ever....
Goddess have I analyzed my life... I have sunk to the depths of the heart of pain
I have become one & sat within the core of the pain, owning it, clinging to it
Not forgiving myself of things. I have stagnated myself within this .
To think of myself as the ice cube in the glass floating slowly melting really was
for me to realize that I had to trust the melting process of my own life.
I know that Spirit has always sent me guides...but, sometimes in life you forget to
really listen to those still places within. It is then the breath of wisdom that fills your lungs
so deeply that you physically can feel an inner ache . Such breath stretching your
lungs further then you ever thought they could possibly stretch. This is growth,
a mandatory calling from Spirit that "It is time"
While aknowledging my life , the hills, valleys and even the highest mountain peaks
I could see there was more life to live beyone the horizon. A calling magnitized
me to believe I could undetake a journey to rekindle my life.
So I took out firstly to find where I could grow, for a place that would feed my
thirst as well as nurture my soul.
What came forth was Colorado. For a woman who spent the majority of her
life in the Inland North West as well as many times near the ocean this was
indeed a calling for change, but when you get a higher calling you fallow it
down to the letter. First I set out to weed my life of many things that would
hinder the chances for a successful outcome to this journey. I began looking
within at myself, at thing that I had not forgiven myself for, things that had
left scars upon my heart and found such a rushing of healing. some of this I was
able to blog, but other parts I had to work through on the inner.
so here I sit pondering the last of the paving of this road. Still there are things
to do. a legal battle on the horizon which could spin us to Colorado with not
much time to say goodbyes. Sad fact is a Realtor does not want you living on
the property if you had to sue him no matter if he was in the wrong.
Thus we have had to create a plan A,B,& C.
So still there is waiting but...while I wait I shall clean & pack and I shall be
ready for when moving day comes
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Twice in a Life Time, all at The Same Time
Most people that I know would tell you they believe in one love. A lot of people I know also wonder about their soul mate & twin flame , or some are looking for Mr Right the Prince charming. Me? I always thought I was the ever faithful , loyal to a fault one man woman.
when did this change? And Why? Well the man I am married to had two poly amorous relationships when he was in his early 20's. I did not find this out until after our marriage. Actually My high Priestess & dear friend was the one he confided it to .
I remember freaking out!! I mean how could a man who had poly amorous relationships be ok with having just one wife & a monogamous marriage?!?! I had serious panic attacks. My X husband had cheated on me twice and that in n of it's own self had made me feel Not enough & not good enough. Knowing all that my current husband had done before he ever met me was making my head spin.
My husband assured me that I was enough for him, that although he had been poly that he was ready to settle down & be monogamous, and that his love & loyalty was only to me. there was a "But" though...and this but perplexed me. He had told me IF I ever found someone I was comfortable with that fit into our lives that he felt it was my time to know n feel what it was like to feel so loved.
I myself never saw this happening , because it overwhelmed me. Well as the saying goes "Never say Never"
In our marriage my husband was fine with me having male friends on the computer, he wasn't the jealous type . While I had some male friends , seriously none of them was worthy or even qualified in my head as potentials for a relationship. For me anyone who entered into our life would have to care about my marriage , was going to have to realize they would never break my husband n I apart. they were gonna have to respect and be friends with my husband. No man would ever be able to do this....or would they??
Two years after my husband & I had our son I met a man on line, we began talking. He was a flirtatious soul but intelligent, witty & more so he was also Wiccan. We had some very amazing conversations . What we found between one another is a very treasured friendship. there were not many things he & I could not speak upon. From the moment I met him he was like family to my soul, familiar & kindred & amazingly comfortable.
I dubbed him my Wonder Twin. for near a whole year I thought of him like family. Yes there was flirtatious chemistry, but he had other online female interests & both of us needed friendship more then anything else.
My husband became friends with him though nothing like I was. As time went on though things began changing... the friendship began taking interesting turns .Where there was a profound friendship there began a pulling. I remember how it felt like a magnet pulling, and I fought it with every thing I had. I was not going to ruin my best friendship
I convinced myself that I was dreaming, having some sort of delutions. Certainly he would laugh if I told him what I was feeling. My husband though urged me to speak to my dear friend. It was odd & yet funny how I decided to handle my paranoia , I ended up writing a short story trying to weigh things out. I felt so sure he sould laugh at me & ask me what was I thinking and that he had way too much on his plate to think about getting involved with me....
What threw me was....He didn't do this. The man I felt was gonna laugh at me, pretty much opened his arms & pulled me in. I believe I felt speechless & like I was dreaming. The man I had been so afraid to tell that I had began falling in love with , basically was telling me he was having feeling about me as well . Our feelings were similar though possibly not identical but...we both had felt a pull.
What this turned into still to this day I must pinch myself over. My dearest male friend became my lover. Even to write this now I find myself shaking my head yet smiling , for I really would not have imagined this would be my life.
He & I met in March of 2011 when he came to stay with me & my family for 10 days....then he returned to Colorado where he lived, we continued to keep in touch.
Before he left he put an idea into my husband n my head.....moving
It did not take my husband as long as me to fully decide & after I had done some research on many things it was official we would be moving in 2012
At the end of June he returned again for a much longer stay ...a whole month, and we learned a great many things about one another..which would one day serve us well
I have a twice in a life time, at the same time. Two men who respect one another & have become very close friends, Love me. Not many get this in a life time, not all would dare to even try having this kind of a relationship for the fears of what could happen. My husband has told me his relationships were NOT like this one is. The relationship We have is Bonded we have known one another for 2 years.
I will not tell you there are never concerns or that we do not have problems from time to time as any relationship does...but communication has helped us & knowing there is love. My friend & lover has no title really that fit all that he is to me. He is my husband's dearest friend , like a brother & my son's Godfather....but for me no word antiquity describe all that he is. He is family though & I do love him as a life mate, I cherish all that he brings into my life...and to him & my husband I am loyal, I have no wanting for another & my heart is more full then I could ever have imagined
These men are my Life mates, their abiding friendship & love mean the world to me. they both complete parts of me as I do them, with them both I feel a great since of calm & completeness, with both of them I feel I have come home. they are supportive of who I am & they are both for my best as I am for them. There is far more to it then the mere sexual aspect. We are family & I am indeed blessed
when did this change? And Why? Well the man I am married to had two poly amorous relationships when he was in his early 20's. I did not find this out until after our marriage. Actually My high Priestess & dear friend was the one he confided it to .
I remember freaking out!! I mean how could a man who had poly amorous relationships be ok with having just one wife & a monogamous marriage?!?! I had serious panic attacks. My X husband had cheated on me twice and that in n of it's own self had made me feel Not enough & not good enough. Knowing all that my current husband had done before he ever met me was making my head spin.
My husband assured me that I was enough for him, that although he had been poly that he was ready to settle down & be monogamous, and that his love & loyalty was only to me. there was a "But" though...and this but perplexed me. He had told me IF I ever found someone I was comfortable with that fit into our lives that he felt it was my time to know n feel what it was like to feel so loved.
I myself never saw this happening , because it overwhelmed me. Well as the saying goes "Never say Never"
In our marriage my husband was fine with me having male friends on the computer, he wasn't the jealous type . While I had some male friends , seriously none of them was worthy or even qualified in my head as potentials for a relationship. For me anyone who entered into our life would have to care about my marriage , was going to have to realize they would never break my husband n I apart. they were gonna have to respect and be friends with my husband. No man would ever be able to do this....or would they??
Two years after my husband & I had our son I met a man on line, we began talking. He was a flirtatious soul but intelligent, witty & more so he was also Wiccan. We had some very amazing conversations . What we found between one another is a very treasured friendship. there were not many things he & I could not speak upon. From the moment I met him he was like family to my soul, familiar & kindred & amazingly comfortable.
I dubbed him my Wonder Twin. for near a whole year I thought of him like family. Yes there was flirtatious chemistry, but he had other online female interests & both of us needed friendship more then anything else.
My husband became friends with him though nothing like I was. As time went on though things began changing... the friendship began taking interesting turns .Where there was a profound friendship there began a pulling. I remember how it felt like a magnet pulling, and I fought it with every thing I had. I was not going to ruin my best friendship
I convinced myself that I was dreaming, having some sort of delutions. Certainly he would laugh if I told him what I was feeling. My husband though urged me to speak to my dear friend. It was odd & yet funny how I decided to handle my paranoia , I ended up writing a short story trying to weigh things out. I felt so sure he sould laugh at me & ask me what was I thinking and that he had way too much on his plate to think about getting involved with me....
What threw me was....He didn't do this. The man I felt was gonna laugh at me, pretty much opened his arms & pulled me in. I believe I felt speechless & like I was dreaming. The man I had been so afraid to tell that I had began falling in love with , basically was telling me he was having feeling about me as well . Our feelings were similar though possibly not identical but...we both had felt a pull.
What this turned into still to this day I must pinch myself over. My dearest male friend became my lover. Even to write this now I find myself shaking my head yet smiling , for I really would not have imagined this would be my life.
He & I met in March of 2011 when he came to stay with me & my family for 10 days....then he returned to Colorado where he lived, we continued to keep in touch.
Before he left he put an idea into my husband n my head.....moving
It did not take my husband as long as me to fully decide & after I had done some research on many things it was official we would be moving in 2012
At the end of June he returned again for a much longer stay ...a whole month, and we learned a great many things about one another..which would one day serve us well
I have a twice in a life time, at the same time. Two men who respect one another & have become very close friends, Love me. Not many get this in a life time, not all would dare to even try having this kind of a relationship for the fears of what could happen. My husband has told me his relationships were NOT like this one is. The relationship We have is Bonded we have known one another for 2 years.
I will not tell you there are never concerns or that we do not have problems from time to time as any relationship does...but communication has helped us & knowing there is love. My friend & lover has no title really that fit all that he is to me. He is my husband's dearest friend , like a brother & my son's Godfather....but for me no word antiquity describe all that he is. He is family though & I do love him as a life mate, I cherish all that he brings into my life...and to him & my husband I am loyal, I have no wanting for another & my heart is more full then I could ever have imagined
These men are my Life mates, their abiding friendship & love mean the world to me. they both complete parts of me as I do them, with them both I feel a great since of calm & completeness, with both of them I feel I have come home. they are supportive of who I am & they are both for my best as I am for them. There is far more to it then the mere sexual aspect. We are family & I am indeed blessed
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Preparing to Release Into Peace
Last night I watched a movie I could watch every single day & relate to. Eat,Pray, Love with Julia Roberts continues to speak to me. Maybe some would think it odd to have a movie become a guru of a sort...but seriously this is what has happened.
I also think of my blogs and how they are becoming a therapeutic voice and outlet for me. They are helping me really take a look at things, deal with them , think about how I want to process them, what I want to do next etc...
If anything I am going through can help anyone..well I am exposing myself to degrees I am comfortable with,as I am comfortable with
them.
Up to date I have spoke upon my first marriage, abuse, losing sight of who I was, a divorce, I have spoken of my depressions & how my middle son was affected it &what he took from everything & allowed to destroy our relationship. I have owned my part in it all , I have spoke upon a brother & change & distance and grieving for things that just can not be at this time, I have spoke on a miscarriage of loss etc, and of a healing process & also of pieces of my life I still have yet to finish putting together ...
Every bit of this is Me and I have been facing a lot. Between February 2012 & March 2012 I will be making a move....I want to release this heavy baggage that I have been carrying. I am standing in front of mirrors...hell I am standing underneath microscopes, looking at every thing . Goddess the flaws you notice when they are magnified in front of your face.
I don't hate myself for them though, as I once did. Again they are a part of me. Going through everything has allowed me to come to this very moment . I am strong & every I try and find the courage to continue taking more steps to growth.
I want to let go of things so that I may move on, forward into my future...with hope. If I continue to cling to the past it will not just forever haunt me, but it will hold me back as well. I do not deserve to have my future be anything but the very best that it can be.
Hope for my future is what keeps me motivated.
Also though I know this will make me not just a better person for me but it will continue to also make me a better person for those around me and those that love me.
so I think the best title for many of my blogs is Release into Peace for this is what I am striving for. It is looking , owning forgiving and learning to move forward.
Lately my meditations come on the Astral...I find peace & tranquility a lot of times there. I have no idea why it is easier to shut my mind down there, I hope one day I will learn to master that on this plane as well though.
I surround myself in love & light every day . I do my best to shine it where ever I need it
I am manifesting the best light & I am looking forward to this move
bless Be
~IndigoSky
I also think of my blogs and how they are becoming a therapeutic voice and outlet for me. They are helping me really take a look at things, deal with them , think about how I want to process them, what I want to do next etc...
If anything I am going through can help anyone..well I am exposing myself to degrees I am comfortable with,as I am comfortable with
them.
Up to date I have spoke upon my first marriage, abuse, losing sight of who I was, a divorce, I have spoken of my depressions & how my middle son was affected it &what he took from everything & allowed to destroy our relationship. I have owned my part in it all , I have spoke upon a brother & change & distance and grieving for things that just can not be at this time, I have spoke on a miscarriage of loss etc, and of a healing process & also of pieces of my life I still have yet to finish putting together ...
Every bit of this is Me and I have been facing a lot. Between February 2012 & March 2012 I will be making a move....I want to release this heavy baggage that I have been carrying. I am standing in front of mirrors...hell I am standing underneath microscopes, looking at every thing . Goddess the flaws you notice when they are magnified in front of your face.
I don't hate myself for them though, as I once did. Again they are a part of me. Going through everything has allowed me to come to this very moment . I am strong & every I try and find the courage to continue taking more steps to growth.
I want to let go of things so that I may move on, forward into my future...with hope. If I continue to cling to the past it will not just forever haunt me, but it will hold me back as well. I do not deserve to have my future be anything but the very best that it can be.
Hope for my future is what keeps me motivated.
Also though I know this will make me not just a better person for me but it will continue to also make me a better person for those around me and those that love me.
so I think the best title for many of my blogs is Release into Peace for this is what I am striving for. It is looking , owning forgiving and learning to move forward.
Lately my meditations come on the Astral...I find peace & tranquility a lot of times there. I have no idea why it is easier to shut my mind down there, I hope one day I will learn to master that on this plane as well though.
I surround myself in love & light every day . I do my best to shine it where ever I need it
I am manifesting the best light & I am looking forward to this move
bless Be
~IndigoSky
Monday, June 6, 2011
Mapping things out & Trusting in Fait as well
Are you the kind of person that likes to know path well before you walk upon it?Do you need things mapped out ahead of time? Want to see every curve & angle of the road and what is coming up around the bend?
OR are you the kind of person who lives for adventure? who has blind trust that all will be as it should? Who takes chances etc....
I am both of these. I have walked through many things unknowing the dangers. But there is something that should be said for blind trust in Spirit.
I watched Eat Pray Love about a couple months after the Colorado move had been placed in my head. I had researched and done my best to know there was in fact a direction being shown to me to take.While this was thought out in many ways....there was also an essence of blind trust.
In the movie Eat Pray Love this woman played by Julia Roberts learns in the end to lose balance for love is also a way of being balanced, because life is about taking chances and when the heart is pulled Spirit wants you to listen. I thought about this a lot as moving from Washington to Colorado was not a small move.
What was I moving for? Well a kindred soul whom I love very much, who had over the years become a part of my family ...he had opened both Chris & I up to this move. It was huge, in the beginning it made my head swim, and I found myself so concerned what if something happened that broke the balance of all that we were.
Through watching that Movie I was given another view point at how to look at this.
In this movie this woman remembers who she use to be, that she use to eat up life and live life. I needed to do this again. to feel the wind blowing against my face, to feel the sunlight and the moonlight....to find another part of my soul...one that was no longer to be found where I was living now.
Before the movie I had decided that moving to Pueblo would be good for a few reasons....one being Chris's family would be in driving distance and it would give us all the opportunity to get to know some of them. I looked up tons of things from the cost of living, to medical,where there were mommy groups, Wiccan groups, Home Schooling groups. Our kindred familiar's sister was a speech therapist & I felt good knowing even if she would not work with my youngest that surely she could help me with finding someone who could.
Through blogging I began to look at some very serious things that had plagued me. Things that hurt me deep that I needed so badly to find peace with before moving on. One was my middle son and the other a brother. I would have to face feelings on these things, to heal the wounds within me and be free to move into the next phase of my life.
so this is what I set out to do. I looked at somethings about myself that were not pleasant. Times in my life when I had allowed things to become unraveled, times when I sunk low and made mistakes. It's very humbling to look backwards. You can not change the past...but it can remind you more solidly what you do want to continue striving for & what you need to release. I feel very at peace knowing what has happened has always been for the lessons of my life. That each and every person who walks upon my path is here to teach me something. It may hurt tremendously or I might get it right away & smile and say "Ahh that's it, it makes since" but, either way it is lessons.
I have come to realize in life to hold onto things too tightly can bring its own kind of pain, if these things need to be free....fighting to hold them will only bring more grief. through the struggle I will cut by the thorns. So one of the lessons I will leave with is Letting Go. as a Madonna song goes "Theres No greater Power then the Power Of Goodbye" well when the goodbye is needed to be said.
Through our memories we will have what we need, but to create new memories one can not hold onto the past. So I open my heart and release. things may circle round or they may never circle...it is not a time to think upon waiting it is just sighing into the wind blowing letting go, and feeling peace
I want to embrace the possibilities Pueblo Colorado may have for me. To take in all the new experiences that this place will have to offer not just me but my family as well .
Also I am not going to the unknown alone. There is love down there, and open arms that will great me.
So we are planning this move. Towards the end of this month our kindred is coming to help. He & I will be going through the storage shed, All of us will be deciding what things we need to throw away & what things need to be kept. It will be taking things to my oldest son's house for he & his family, it will also be packing things we will not be using ...getting ready & planning....but still I am ready to take chances to enjoy life for what it brings me....
We will work hard and I know we will play as well. This summer holds camping trips and many adventures for all of us. I am truly going to look at the rest of my time here as something to make the most of and enjoy my family & friends before we leave
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
OR are you the kind of person who lives for adventure? who has blind trust that all will be as it should? Who takes chances etc....
I am both of these. I have walked through many things unknowing the dangers. But there is something that should be said for blind trust in Spirit.
I watched Eat Pray Love about a couple months after the Colorado move had been placed in my head. I had researched and done my best to know there was in fact a direction being shown to me to take.While this was thought out in many ways....there was also an essence of blind trust.
In the movie Eat Pray Love this woman played by Julia Roberts learns in the end to lose balance for love is also a way of being balanced, because life is about taking chances and when the heart is pulled Spirit wants you to listen. I thought about this a lot as moving from Washington to Colorado was not a small move.
What was I moving for? Well a kindred soul whom I love very much, who had over the years become a part of my family ...he had opened both Chris & I up to this move. It was huge, in the beginning it made my head swim, and I found myself so concerned what if something happened that broke the balance of all that we were.
Through watching that Movie I was given another view point at how to look at this.
In this movie this woman remembers who she use to be, that she use to eat up life and live life. I needed to do this again. to feel the wind blowing against my face, to feel the sunlight and the moonlight....to find another part of my soul...one that was no longer to be found where I was living now.
Before the movie I had decided that moving to Pueblo would be good for a few reasons....one being Chris's family would be in driving distance and it would give us all the opportunity to get to know some of them. I looked up tons of things from the cost of living, to medical,where there were mommy groups, Wiccan groups, Home Schooling groups. Our kindred familiar's sister was a speech therapist & I felt good knowing even if she would not work with my youngest that surely she could help me with finding someone who could.
Through blogging I began to look at some very serious things that had plagued me. Things that hurt me deep that I needed so badly to find peace with before moving on. One was my middle son and the other a brother. I would have to face feelings on these things, to heal the wounds within me and be free to move into the next phase of my life.
so this is what I set out to do. I looked at somethings about myself that were not pleasant. Times in my life when I had allowed things to become unraveled, times when I sunk low and made mistakes. It's very humbling to look backwards. You can not change the past...but it can remind you more solidly what you do want to continue striving for & what you need to release. I feel very at peace knowing what has happened has always been for the lessons of my life. That each and every person who walks upon my path is here to teach me something. It may hurt tremendously or I might get it right away & smile and say "Ahh that's it, it makes since" but, either way it is lessons.
I have come to realize in life to hold onto things too tightly can bring its own kind of pain, if these things need to be free....fighting to hold them will only bring more grief. through the struggle I will cut by the thorns. So one of the lessons I will leave with is Letting Go. as a Madonna song goes "Theres No greater Power then the Power Of Goodbye" well when the goodbye is needed to be said.
Through our memories we will have what we need, but to create new memories one can not hold onto the past. So I open my heart and release. things may circle round or they may never circle...it is not a time to think upon waiting it is just sighing into the wind blowing letting go, and feeling peace
I want to embrace the possibilities Pueblo Colorado may have for me. To take in all the new experiences that this place will have to offer not just me but my family as well .
Also I am not going to the unknown alone. There is love down there, and open arms that will great me.
So we are planning this move. Towards the end of this month our kindred is coming to help. He & I will be going through the storage shed, All of us will be deciding what things we need to throw away & what things need to be kept. It will be taking things to my oldest son's house for he & his family, it will also be packing things we will not be using ...getting ready & planning....but still I am ready to take chances to enjoy life for what it brings me....
We will work hard and I know we will play as well. This summer holds camping trips and many adventures for all of us. I am truly going to look at the rest of my time here as something to make the most of and enjoy my family & friends before we leave
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Pieces of a Puzzle
All of life is a magnificent puzzle. There are puzzles within puzzles as we live in such a dimensional world , and we are forever piecing things together things to see new pictures & get new perspectives on things.
I have three sisters & two brothers, but I only grew up with one of my sisters and one of my brothers.
Like others I was a part of a divorced family. I didn't realize this until I was about 4 though. I had always felt the man who raised me was my father. Still this led into another family. My biological father had a son from his first marriage and then later had two daughters with a new wife.
I have met them all and have had time with them speckled in my life. I remember meeting my youngest brother and seeing him perhaps three times before we became adults. My youngest sisters I saw more often & formed relationships when ever we were close together .
I was raised with my sister. When I was one she began dating the man I will forever call my Dad & father as he raised me & loved me as his own. When I was 8 1/2 my Mom & Dad had a son & this was the brother I grew up with.
We are all grown up now,and the sister & brother who I grew up with live in the city next to mine. We talk & see one another from time to time. I am closer to my oldest sister so I see her far more often, but still this is where the outer family lives.
On Face Book of all places I found my youngest brother. I remember laughing because it was like we found one another & were bonding over farmville of all things. It sounded like something any talk show host would have laughed about as well.
I also found my younger sisters there as well and began communicating.
These people , all of them are a part of me.I am grateful for finding my other siblings and hope we can become closer.
Finding parts and putting other pieces of my life is bringing me not just more joy but, also peace & understanding.
It is helping me understand things better, put things into a clearer perspective .
I am getting ready for another shift in my life & trying to clear away some old things, make peace with what things that I can even if it is an inner healing and embrace the many things within my life as well.
I am thankful for my life, for things that I am learning & the ways that I am growing.
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
I have three sisters & two brothers, but I only grew up with one of my sisters and one of my brothers.
Like others I was a part of a divorced family. I didn't realize this until I was about 4 though. I had always felt the man who raised me was my father. Still this led into another family. My biological father had a son from his first marriage and then later had two daughters with a new wife.
I have met them all and have had time with them speckled in my life. I remember meeting my youngest brother and seeing him perhaps three times before we became adults. My youngest sisters I saw more often & formed relationships when ever we were close together .
I was raised with my sister. When I was one she began dating the man I will forever call my Dad & father as he raised me & loved me as his own. When I was 8 1/2 my Mom & Dad had a son & this was the brother I grew up with.
We are all grown up now,and the sister & brother who I grew up with live in the city next to mine. We talk & see one another from time to time. I am closer to my oldest sister so I see her far more often, but still this is where the outer family lives.
On Face Book of all places I found my youngest brother. I remember laughing because it was like we found one another & were bonding over farmville of all things. It sounded like something any talk show host would have laughed about as well.
I also found my younger sisters there as well and began communicating.
These people , all of them are a part of me.I am grateful for finding my other siblings and hope we can become closer.
Finding parts and putting other pieces of my life is bringing me not just more joy but, also peace & understanding.
It is helping me understand things better, put things into a clearer perspective .
I am getting ready for another shift in my life & trying to clear away some old things, make peace with what things that I can even if it is an inner healing and embrace the many things within my life as well.
I am thankful for my life, for things that I am learning & the ways that I am growing.
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Embrace Your Time, Do Not Wish It Away
Never measure your life
So many of us mark off the calendar days, we watch the clock ticking off the hours, minutes ,seconds. We learn to fear age...it is suppose to strip us of our youth.
But let's take it into a different perspective. Firstly soul is ageless, and second the human eyes some times forget to focus on the most important things.
They say beauty lies within us. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Break it down and sit with it a moment. what is your definition of beauty? Every one sees beauty a different ways. Strip down to your cellular level, down to your very soul .....what are you? What people are around you? what do they feel off of you?
The light that we shine is felt not seen with the human eye always. I have learned a great many things and still have much I will continue to learn.....I will never be finished learning and I am so very thankful for this.
To me everything I learn is like a present I unwrap. No not everything I learn do I get to learn in pleasant happy ways, but still when I look back, I realize I am wiser for having walked through the fire n trials I have.....yes some lessons are learned with joy .
What has gotten me to ponder upon all of this is the need to look at my reflection. It is taking time to see that even though I am in my mid 40's that there is still life to be lived.
Still reasons not to count the minutes of my life but the moments. The magnificence that life is there is no measure for it.
In learning to open myself to bigger things, and to take chances....this is positive No one grows from shutting them self into a closet.and submerging into darkness. Life is about taking chances, expanding your horizons. It is about dreaming and setting goals. Right now I am on the verge of discovering more about myself every day and I am not done living:)
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
So many of us mark off the calendar days, we watch the clock ticking off the hours, minutes ,seconds. We learn to fear age...it is suppose to strip us of our youth.
But let's take it into a different perspective. Firstly soul is ageless, and second the human eyes some times forget to focus on the most important things.
They say beauty lies within us. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Break it down and sit with it a moment. what is your definition of beauty? Every one sees beauty a different ways. Strip down to your cellular level, down to your very soul .....what are you? What people are around you? what do they feel off of you?
The light that we shine is felt not seen with the human eye always. I have learned a great many things and still have much I will continue to learn.....I will never be finished learning and I am so very thankful for this.
To me everything I learn is like a present I unwrap. No not everything I learn do I get to learn in pleasant happy ways, but still when I look back, I realize I am wiser for having walked through the fire n trials I have.....yes some lessons are learned with joy .
What has gotten me to ponder upon all of this is the need to look at my reflection. It is taking time to see that even though I am in my mid 40's that there is still life to be lived.
Still reasons not to count the minutes of my life but the moments. The magnificence that life is there is no measure for it.
In learning to open myself to bigger things, and to take chances....this is positive No one grows from shutting them self into a closet.and submerging into darkness. Life is about taking chances, expanding your horizons. It is about dreaming and setting goals. Right now I am on the verge of discovering more about myself every day and I am not done living:)
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)