Last night I watched a movie I could watch every single day & relate to. Eat,Pray, Love with Julia Roberts continues to speak to me. Maybe some would think it odd to have a movie become a guru of a sort...but seriously this is what has happened.
I also think of my blogs and how they are becoming a therapeutic voice and outlet for me. They are helping me really take a look at things, deal with them , think about how I want to process them, what I want to do next etc...
If anything I am going through can help anyone..well I am exposing myself to degrees I am comfortable with,as I am comfortable with
them.
Up to date I have spoke upon my first marriage, abuse, losing sight of who I was, a divorce, I have spoken of my depressions & how my middle son was affected it &what he took from everything & allowed to destroy our relationship. I have owned my part in it all , I have spoke upon a brother & change & distance and grieving for things that just can not be at this time, I have spoke on a miscarriage of loss etc, and of a healing process & also of pieces of my life I still have yet to finish putting together ...
Every bit of this is Me and I have been facing a lot. Between February 2012 & March 2012 I will be making a move....I want to release this heavy baggage that I have been carrying. I am standing in front of mirrors...hell I am standing underneath microscopes, looking at every thing . Goddess the flaws you notice when they are magnified in front of your face.
I don't hate myself for them though, as I once did. Again they are a part of me. Going through everything has allowed me to come to this very moment . I am strong & every I try and find the courage to continue taking more steps to growth.
I want to let go of things so that I may move on, forward into my future...with hope. If I continue to cling to the past it will not just forever haunt me, but it will hold me back as well. I do not deserve to have my future be anything but the very best that it can be.
Hope for my future is what keeps me motivated.
Also though I know this will make me not just a better person for me but it will continue to also make me a better person for those around me and those that love me.
so I think the best title for many of my blogs is Release into Peace for this is what I am striving for. It is looking , owning forgiving and learning to move forward.
Lately my meditations come on the Astral...I find peace & tranquility a lot of times there. I have no idea why it is easier to shut my mind down there, I hope one day I will learn to master that on this plane as well though.
I surround myself in love & light every day . I do my best to shine it where ever I need it
I am manifesting the best light & I am looking forward to this move
bless Be
~IndigoSky
