Are you the kind of person that likes to know path well before you walk upon it?Do you need things mapped out ahead of time? Want to see every curve & angle of the road and what is coming up around the bend?
OR are you the kind of person who lives for adventure? who has blind trust that all will be as it should? Who takes chances etc....
I am both of these. I have walked through many things unknowing the dangers. But there is something that should be said for blind trust in Spirit.
I watched Eat Pray Love about a couple months after the Colorado move had been placed in my head. I had researched and done my best to know there was in fact a direction being shown to me to take.While this was thought out in many ways....there was also an essence of blind trust.
In the movie Eat Pray Love this woman played by Julia Roberts learns in the end to lose balance for love is also a way of being balanced, because life is about taking chances and when the heart is pulled Spirit wants you to listen. I thought about this a lot as moving from Washington to Colorado was not a small move.
What was I moving for? Well a kindred soul whom I love very much, who had over the years become a part of my family ...he had opened both Chris & I up to this move. It was huge, in the beginning it made my head swim, and I found myself so concerned what if something happened that broke the balance of all that we were.
Through watching that Movie I was given another view point at how to look at this.
In this movie this woman remembers who she use to be, that she use to eat up life and live life. I needed to do this again. to feel the wind blowing against my face, to feel the sunlight and the moonlight....to find another part of my soul...one that was no longer to be found where I was living now.
Before the movie I had decided that moving to Pueblo would be good for a few reasons....one being Chris's family would be in driving distance and it would give us all the opportunity to get to know some of them. I looked up tons of things from the cost of living, to medical,where there were mommy groups, Wiccan groups, Home Schooling groups. Our kindred familiar's sister was a speech therapist & I felt good knowing even if she would not work with my youngest that surely she could help me with finding someone who could.
Through blogging I began to look at some very serious things that had plagued me. Things that hurt me deep that I needed so badly to find peace with before moving on. One was my middle son and the other a brother. I would have to face feelings on these things, to heal the wounds within me and be free to move into the next phase of my life.
so this is what I set out to do. I looked at somethings about myself that were not pleasant. Times in my life when I had allowed things to become unraveled, times when I sunk low and made mistakes. It's very humbling to look backwards. You can not change the past...but it can remind you more solidly what you do want to continue striving for & what you need to release. I feel very at peace knowing what has happened has always been for the lessons of my life. That each and every person who walks upon my path is here to teach me something. It may hurt tremendously or I might get it right away & smile and say "Ahh that's it, it makes since" but, either way it is lessons.
I have come to realize in life to hold onto things too tightly can bring its own kind of pain, if these things need to be free....fighting to hold them will only bring more grief. through the struggle I will cut by the thorns. So one of the lessons I will leave with is Letting Go. as a Madonna song goes "Theres No greater Power then the Power Of Goodbye" well when the goodbye is needed to be said.
Through our memories we will have what we need, but to create new memories one can not hold onto the past. So I open my heart and release. things may circle round or they may never circle...it is not a time to think upon waiting it is just sighing into the wind blowing letting go, and feeling peace
I want to embrace the possibilities Pueblo Colorado may have for me. To take in all the new experiences that this place will have to offer not just me but my family as well .
Also I am not going to the unknown alone. There is love down there, and open arms that will great me.
So we are planning this move. Towards the end of this month our kindred is coming to help. He & I will be going through the storage shed, All of us will be deciding what things we need to throw away & what things need to be kept. It will be taking things to my oldest son's house for he & his family, it will also be packing things we will not be using ...getting ready & planning....but still I am ready to take chances to enjoy life for what it brings me....
We will work hard and I know we will play as well. This summer holds camping trips and many adventures for all of us. I am truly going to look at the rest of my time here as something to make the most of and enjoy my family & friends before we leave
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
