Last night I watched a movie I could watch every single day & relate to. Eat,Pray, Love with Julia Roberts continues to speak to me. Maybe some would think it odd to have a movie become a guru of a sort...but seriously this is what has happened.
I also think of my blogs and how they are becoming a therapeutic voice and outlet for me. They are helping me really take a look at things, deal with them , think about how I want to process them, what I want to do next etc...
If anything I am going through can help anyone..well I am exposing myself to degrees I am comfortable with,as I am comfortable with
them.
Up to date I have spoke upon my first marriage, abuse, losing sight of who I was, a divorce, I have spoken of my depressions & how my middle son was affected it &what he took from everything & allowed to destroy our relationship. I have owned my part in it all , I have spoke upon a brother & change & distance and grieving for things that just can not be at this time, I have spoke on a miscarriage of loss etc, and of a healing process & also of pieces of my life I still have yet to finish putting together ...
Every bit of this is Me and I have been facing a lot. Between February 2012 & March 2012 I will be making a move....I want to release this heavy baggage that I have been carrying. I am standing in front of mirrors...hell I am standing underneath microscopes, looking at every thing . Goddess the flaws you notice when they are magnified in front of your face.
I don't hate myself for them though, as I once did. Again they are a part of me. Going through everything has allowed me to come to this very moment . I am strong & every I try and find the courage to continue taking more steps to growth.
I want to let go of things so that I may move on, forward into my future...with hope. If I continue to cling to the past it will not just forever haunt me, but it will hold me back as well. I do not deserve to have my future be anything but the very best that it can be.
Hope for my future is what keeps me motivated.
Also though I know this will make me not just a better person for me but it will continue to also make me a better person for those around me and those that love me.
so I think the best title for many of my blogs is Release into Peace for this is what I am striving for. It is looking , owning forgiving and learning to move forward.
Lately my meditations come on the Astral...I find peace & tranquility a lot of times there. I have no idea why it is easier to shut my mind down there, I hope one day I will learn to master that on this plane as well though.
I surround myself in love & light every day . I do my best to shine it where ever I need it
I am manifesting the best light & I am looking forward to this move
bless Be
~IndigoSky
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Mapping things out & Trusting in Fait as well
Are you the kind of person that likes to know path well before you walk upon it?Do you need things mapped out ahead of time? Want to see every curve & angle of the road and what is coming up around the bend?
OR are you the kind of person who lives for adventure? who has blind trust that all will be as it should? Who takes chances etc....
I am both of these. I have walked through many things unknowing the dangers. But there is something that should be said for blind trust in Spirit.
I watched Eat Pray Love about a couple months after the Colorado move had been placed in my head. I had researched and done my best to know there was in fact a direction being shown to me to take.While this was thought out in many ways....there was also an essence of blind trust.
In the movie Eat Pray Love this woman played by Julia Roberts learns in the end to lose balance for love is also a way of being balanced, because life is about taking chances and when the heart is pulled Spirit wants you to listen. I thought about this a lot as moving from Washington to Colorado was not a small move.
What was I moving for? Well a kindred soul whom I love very much, who had over the years become a part of my family ...he had opened both Chris & I up to this move. It was huge, in the beginning it made my head swim, and I found myself so concerned what if something happened that broke the balance of all that we were.
Through watching that Movie I was given another view point at how to look at this.
In this movie this woman remembers who she use to be, that she use to eat up life and live life. I needed to do this again. to feel the wind blowing against my face, to feel the sunlight and the moonlight....to find another part of my soul...one that was no longer to be found where I was living now.
Before the movie I had decided that moving to Pueblo would be good for a few reasons....one being Chris's family would be in driving distance and it would give us all the opportunity to get to know some of them. I looked up tons of things from the cost of living, to medical,where there were mommy groups, Wiccan groups, Home Schooling groups. Our kindred familiar's sister was a speech therapist & I felt good knowing even if she would not work with my youngest that surely she could help me with finding someone who could.
Through blogging I began to look at some very serious things that had plagued me. Things that hurt me deep that I needed so badly to find peace with before moving on. One was my middle son and the other a brother. I would have to face feelings on these things, to heal the wounds within me and be free to move into the next phase of my life.
so this is what I set out to do. I looked at somethings about myself that were not pleasant. Times in my life when I had allowed things to become unraveled, times when I sunk low and made mistakes. It's very humbling to look backwards. You can not change the past...but it can remind you more solidly what you do want to continue striving for & what you need to release. I feel very at peace knowing what has happened has always been for the lessons of my life. That each and every person who walks upon my path is here to teach me something. It may hurt tremendously or I might get it right away & smile and say "Ahh that's it, it makes since" but, either way it is lessons.
I have come to realize in life to hold onto things too tightly can bring its own kind of pain, if these things need to be free....fighting to hold them will only bring more grief. through the struggle I will cut by the thorns. So one of the lessons I will leave with is Letting Go. as a Madonna song goes "Theres No greater Power then the Power Of Goodbye" well when the goodbye is needed to be said.
Through our memories we will have what we need, but to create new memories one can not hold onto the past. So I open my heart and release. things may circle round or they may never circle...it is not a time to think upon waiting it is just sighing into the wind blowing letting go, and feeling peace
I want to embrace the possibilities Pueblo Colorado may have for me. To take in all the new experiences that this place will have to offer not just me but my family as well .
Also I am not going to the unknown alone. There is love down there, and open arms that will great me.
So we are planning this move. Towards the end of this month our kindred is coming to help. He & I will be going through the storage shed, All of us will be deciding what things we need to throw away & what things need to be kept. It will be taking things to my oldest son's house for he & his family, it will also be packing things we will not be using ...getting ready & planning....but still I am ready to take chances to enjoy life for what it brings me....
We will work hard and I know we will play as well. This summer holds camping trips and many adventures for all of us. I am truly going to look at the rest of my time here as something to make the most of and enjoy my family & friends before we leave
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
OR are you the kind of person who lives for adventure? who has blind trust that all will be as it should? Who takes chances etc....
I am both of these. I have walked through many things unknowing the dangers. But there is something that should be said for blind trust in Spirit.
I watched Eat Pray Love about a couple months after the Colorado move had been placed in my head. I had researched and done my best to know there was in fact a direction being shown to me to take.While this was thought out in many ways....there was also an essence of blind trust.
In the movie Eat Pray Love this woman played by Julia Roberts learns in the end to lose balance for love is also a way of being balanced, because life is about taking chances and when the heart is pulled Spirit wants you to listen. I thought about this a lot as moving from Washington to Colorado was not a small move.
What was I moving for? Well a kindred soul whom I love very much, who had over the years become a part of my family ...he had opened both Chris & I up to this move. It was huge, in the beginning it made my head swim, and I found myself so concerned what if something happened that broke the balance of all that we were.
Through watching that Movie I was given another view point at how to look at this.
In this movie this woman remembers who she use to be, that she use to eat up life and live life. I needed to do this again. to feel the wind blowing against my face, to feel the sunlight and the moonlight....to find another part of my soul...one that was no longer to be found where I was living now.
Before the movie I had decided that moving to Pueblo would be good for a few reasons....one being Chris's family would be in driving distance and it would give us all the opportunity to get to know some of them. I looked up tons of things from the cost of living, to medical,where there were mommy groups, Wiccan groups, Home Schooling groups. Our kindred familiar's sister was a speech therapist & I felt good knowing even if she would not work with my youngest that surely she could help me with finding someone who could.
Through blogging I began to look at some very serious things that had plagued me. Things that hurt me deep that I needed so badly to find peace with before moving on. One was my middle son and the other a brother. I would have to face feelings on these things, to heal the wounds within me and be free to move into the next phase of my life.
so this is what I set out to do. I looked at somethings about myself that were not pleasant. Times in my life when I had allowed things to become unraveled, times when I sunk low and made mistakes. It's very humbling to look backwards. You can not change the past...but it can remind you more solidly what you do want to continue striving for & what you need to release. I feel very at peace knowing what has happened has always been for the lessons of my life. That each and every person who walks upon my path is here to teach me something. It may hurt tremendously or I might get it right away & smile and say "Ahh that's it, it makes since" but, either way it is lessons.
I have come to realize in life to hold onto things too tightly can bring its own kind of pain, if these things need to be free....fighting to hold them will only bring more grief. through the struggle I will cut by the thorns. So one of the lessons I will leave with is Letting Go. as a Madonna song goes "Theres No greater Power then the Power Of Goodbye" well when the goodbye is needed to be said.
Through our memories we will have what we need, but to create new memories one can not hold onto the past. So I open my heart and release. things may circle round or they may never circle...it is not a time to think upon waiting it is just sighing into the wind blowing letting go, and feeling peace
I want to embrace the possibilities Pueblo Colorado may have for me. To take in all the new experiences that this place will have to offer not just me but my family as well .
Also I am not going to the unknown alone. There is love down there, and open arms that will great me.
So we are planning this move. Towards the end of this month our kindred is coming to help. He & I will be going through the storage shed, All of us will be deciding what things we need to throw away & what things need to be kept. It will be taking things to my oldest son's house for he & his family, it will also be packing things we will not be using ...getting ready & planning....but still I am ready to take chances to enjoy life for what it brings me....
We will work hard and I know we will play as well. This summer holds camping trips and many adventures for all of us. I am truly going to look at the rest of my time here as something to make the most of and enjoy my family & friends before we leave
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Pieces of a Puzzle
All of life is a magnificent puzzle. There are puzzles within puzzles as we live in such a dimensional world , and we are forever piecing things together things to see new pictures & get new perspectives on things.
I have three sisters & two brothers, but I only grew up with one of my sisters and one of my brothers.
Like others I was a part of a divorced family. I didn't realize this until I was about 4 though. I had always felt the man who raised me was my father. Still this led into another family. My biological father had a son from his first marriage and then later had two daughters with a new wife.
I have met them all and have had time with them speckled in my life. I remember meeting my youngest brother and seeing him perhaps three times before we became adults. My youngest sisters I saw more often & formed relationships when ever we were close together .
I was raised with my sister. When I was one she began dating the man I will forever call my Dad & father as he raised me & loved me as his own. When I was 8 1/2 my Mom & Dad had a son & this was the brother I grew up with.
We are all grown up now,and the sister & brother who I grew up with live in the city next to mine. We talk & see one another from time to time. I am closer to my oldest sister so I see her far more often, but still this is where the outer family lives.
On Face Book of all places I found my youngest brother. I remember laughing because it was like we found one another & were bonding over farmville of all things. It sounded like something any talk show host would have laughed about as well.
I also found my younger sisters there as well and began communicating.
These people , all of them are a part of me.I am grateful for finding my other siblings and hope we can become closer.
Finding parts and putting other pieces of my life is bringing me not just more joy but, also peace & understanding.
It is helping me understand things better, put things into a clearer perspective .
I am getting ready for another shift in my life & trying to clear away some old things, make peace with what things that I can even if it is an inner healing and embrace the many things within my life as well.
I am thankful for my life, for things that I am learning & the ways that I am growing.
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
I have three sisters & two brothers, but I only grew up with one of my sisters and one of my brothers.
Like others I was a part of a divorced family. I didn't realize this until I was about 4 though. I had always felt the man who raised me was my father. Still this led into another family. My biological father had a son from his first marriage and then later had two daughters with a new wife.
I have met them all and have had time with them speckled in my life. I remember meeting my youngest brother and seeing him perhaps three times before we became adults. My youngest sisters I saw more often & formed relationships when ever we were close together .
I was raised with my sister. When I was one she began dating the man I will forever call my Dad & father as he raised me & loved me as his own. When I was 8 1/2 my Mom & Dad had a son & this was the brother I grew up with.
We are all grown up now,and the sister & brother who I grew up with live in the city next to mine. We talk & see one another from time to time. I am closer to my oldest sister so I see her far more often, but still this is where the outer family lives.
On Face Book of all places I found my youngest brother. I remember laughing because it was like we found one another & were bonding over farmville of all things. It sounded like something any talk show host would have laughed about as well.
I also found my younger sisters there as well and began communicating.
These people , all of them are a part of me.I am grateful for finding my other siblings and hope we can become closer.
Finding parts and putting other pieces of my life is bringing me not just more joy but, also peace & understanding.
It is helping me understand things better, put things into a clearer perspective .
I am getting ready for another shift in my life & trying to clear away some old things, make peace with what things that I can even if it is an inner healing and embrace the many things within my life as well.
I am thankful for my life, for things that I am learning & the ways that I am growing.
Bless Be
~IndigoSky
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